


Holding tight

by Bellarke_Stories



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 4x12 AU, Angst, F/M, Hurt Bellamy, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 11:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11035386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellarke_Stories/pseuds/Bellarke_Stories
Summary: 4x12 AU with everything we didn’t get in the episode. Which means bellarke angst and hurt bellamy!





	Holding tight

Clarke has spent a couple of hours alone in an empty room, fighting with her inner demons and fears. Tears have been rolling down her cheek freely the whole time she has been alone, no one has come to see her. The image of her holding a gun, of pointing it at Bellamy, it can’t leave her mind.

Without any warning the door behind her cracks open causing Clarke to quickly wipe her tears away with the back of her hand before turning around to see who it is.

“Clarke.” Jaha says in a quiet voice, making his way to her slowly. “I’ve been looking for you for hours.” He takes a seat on the bed, next to her.

“I needed some time alone.” She whispers, turning her head to face the other way. “What do you want?”

Jaha stays silent for a few moments, staring at the side of Clarke’s head before speaking, “Kane is up there, telling the truth to our people.” He pauses, “Telling them that they need to die.”

Another tear escapes Clarke’s eyes but before it can roll down her cheeks she quickly wipes it away like the others. “Not everyone. A hundred of them will live here with the rest of the clans.” She points out which earns her a humorless laugh from Jaha.

“Yeah, tell that to the people who have settled down and will be kicked out soon.”

“What do you want me to do Thelonious?” She snaps, turning to glare at him, “I did everything I could. Same as you.”

The man next to her shakes his head, “Not everything, Clarke. We still have a chance to save all our people.”

Clarke stares at him confused. She doesn’t like what Jaha is implying. “What do you mean, Jaha? The decision has been made. We only have-”

“I will organize a riot.” He cuts her off. “People won’t be happy with how things turned out.”

Clarke shakes her head, “No. No, you can’t do that. People will get hurt and die and nothing will change.” She argues.

“Nothing will change if we don’t do anything about it, Clarke.” Jaha replies calmly, “We found this bunker. We deserve to have it as much as we deserve a leader like you. A leader that is willing to do anything for their people.”

“I couldn’t stop Bellamy from opening that door.” She points out, “I couldn’t do the only thing that would ensure our people’s safety.” She looks deep into Jaha’s eyes. “They don’t deserve me.”

While Clarke is speaking, a smile creeps on Jaha’s face. He reaches for her hand, “We all have our weaknesses, Clarke.” He explains in a hushed tone, “Everyone had their families and loved ones turned against them, Clarke. People won’t blame you. They will blame Bellamy like they blamed their families. Besides, Bellamy has proved before that he can live with people hating him.”

Clarke closes her eyes, not even wanting to imagine putting Bellamy’s life at risk because of her choices. Slowly she comes to the realization that she keeps doing it and it is killing her slowly and painfully.

“Help us, and you can be sure that all the people you care about-Bellamy, Octavia, Abby, Kane-they will all survive along with the rest of our people.” Jaha’s words bring her back from her wandering mind, making her to look down at their hands.

She pulls her hands away and stands up next to the bed, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She admits with voice steady and sharp.

Jaha stands up too now, looking down at Clarke. “I will give you some time to think about it.” He says instead and turns to leave the room. It’s only a few seconds before Jaha exits the room that Clarke stops him.

“Wait.” She turns to face him the same time he does, “I’ll do it.”

Jaha doesn’t reply in any way. He only nods and walks out of the room, leaving Clarke once again alone with thoughts and worries.

* * *

Clarke reaches the first floor, immediately noticing all of Skaikru gathered in the main hall with Marcus explaining the situation. Glancing around, she realizes Jaha is nowhere to be found. Her lips twitch upward in a smile for a brief second before she quietly makes her way to chancellor’s office where she knows she can find Bellamy.

The door is open as Bellamy, Octavia and Abby listen to Marcus speech. Entering the room, she ignores her mother’s look and stops in front of Bellamy. “We need to talk.” She whispers, glancing behind her to make sure no one is looking at them.

As always, Bellamy doesn’t question her and just steps to the side, nodding her to follow him to the corner of the office.

“Look, Clarke, if this is about what happened before, I-”

“It’s not.” She stops him, guilt filling her eyes and mind at the mention of the incident. “Save that conversation for another time. We have bigger problems now.”

Bellamy sad expression turns into one of confusion. He places a hand on her shoulder, pulling her farther away from the rest of the people in the room gently. “What is it?” He asks concerned.

Clarke swallows her worry and leans closer to Bellamy. “Jaha is organizing a riot.” She whispers, “We need to stop him and the people that are willing to follow him.”

Bellamy eyes go wide and then close, taking in the information. “How do you-”

“He told me himself.” She explains, “He came to me because he thinks people listen to me.”

Clarke could think a few different ways Bellamy could have reacted to this news. Smiling was definitely not one of them. “Bellamy, this is not a joke. People will get hurt.”

He shakes his head, “I know it’s not a joke, Clarke. It is just- A few hours ago you were willing to shoot me because you thought it was the right thing to do-”

“But I didn’t.” She cuts him off, looking away ashamed, then back to him, “I always do what I think is right for my people. A riot one day before we have to seal that door is not going to help anyone.”

Bellamy smiles again, without realizing what’s he’s doing, his hands take Clarke’s and give them a squeeze. “We have a lot of things to talk about but they can wait for after we save our people.” He whispers. Without warning, he leans down pushing a hand into Clarke’s hair to gently cradle the back of her head as he pulls her forward to leave a kiss on her forehead.

Clarke closes her eyes, accepting and welcoming his comfort as always. “Stay here.” He tells her, letting go of her. Clarke opens her eyes again to see him walking pass her.

She reaches out to grasp his bandaged wrist, “Be careful.” she says, in such a low voice that Bellamy almost misses it, “Jaha is will to do anything at this point.” 

Bellamy nods and takes a few step closer to Clarke again, “You too.” He whispers, “He might figure out you warned us and I don’t know what he will if he does. Make sure you have guards with you wherever you go.”

Clarke nods, still worried about how things might turn out after this. “What are you going to do?” She asks.

Bellamy smiles again, “Something you begged me to do months ago.” He pauses for a moment to stare at Clarke’s eyes, “Trust the grounders and ask for their help.” He explains and before Clarke can say anything, he turns around, disappearing into the crowd.

Once Clarke is sure Bellamy is far away, she leaves the Chancellor’s office, her mind already planning for the things she is going to have to do.

* * *

Bellamy’s not very happy when Clarke finds him an hour later to inform him that Jaha has already gathered people and they will soon start their riot in the mass hall on the first floor knowing it will spread throughout the bunker from there.

Bellamy scolds her for taking such a risk in meeting with Jaha again, but she doesn’t seem to even listen to him. It was something she knew she had to do and would have done with or without Bellamy’s permission.

That’s what leads Jaha’s followers to find themselves trapped in the mass hall, grounder bows and skycrew guns pointing at them from every direction and vantage point. “It’s over, Jaha.” Marcus’ voice fills the room as he steps out from behind the wall of warriors surrounding Jaha’s followers, Bellamy and Abby on either side of him. “Surrender peacefully and your names will remain in the lottery.” He promises the group. Slowly, people begin to throw their weapons on the ground and raise their hands in defeat.

“No!” Jaha yells, “Don’t listen to him! He-”

“He is our Chancellor.” Clarke steps forward and away from Jaha’s side, glancing at him as she makes her way to Kane, Bellamy and Abby. “And he knows what is right and what is wrong for us.” She continues, finally stopping next to Bellamy and turning to face the people.

“You knew about this?” Jaha asks her, locking eyes on her with a surprised expression. “You knew and you didn’t warn us?”

She shakes her head, “I promised you I would do the best thing for our people.” She glances at Bellamy from the corner of her eyes, “it may have taken me a long time, but now I know, this has always been the right thing to do for our people.”

Everyone can see the rage in Jaha’s eyes grow as Clarke speaks.

A moment later, he is charging towards Clarke in an attack. Before he can reach her though, Bellamy steps in front of her protectively, at the same time two of the skycrew guards reach out and grab Jaha before he can even lay a hand on either of them.

“I was wrong about you, Clarke!” He yells, as the guards take him away, “Our people don’t deserve a leader like you! You’re weak!”

“Lock him up!” Marcus shouts, “And anyone else who followed him until we can resolve this mess.”

Bellamy snaps back to Clarke’s side, unsurprised when he finds her softly crying. He faces her in a comforting gesture but she quickly maneuvers out of his hold and turns to flee, taking refuge in the Chancellor’s office before any words can leave his mouth. Of course, he doesn’t waste any time following quickly and silently behind her.

Once both are inside the office, Bellamy closes the doors behind him, slowly approaching Clarke as if she is a scared wounded animal that could flee at any moment. She’s sitting on the sofa next to the desk when he approaches her, her elbows on her knees and face buried in her palms, her sobs barely audible. 

Bellamy kneels in front of her so that his face is level with hers and places a hand on her thigh, stroking her leg lightly with his thumb. “Clarke.” He whispers her name, wanting her to look at him. When she doesn’t, he tries again, “Come on, princess. Look at me.”

Clarke lifts her head up, her red eyes from crying meeting his brown ones. “Don’t call me that. I’m not that girl anymore. She died months ago.”

He gives her a small smile, “I don’t believe that.” He argues, “I know that in there,” he taps above her heart, “is where that girl still lives. Trapped by the weight of this world on her shoulders.”

A few tears escape Clarke’s eyes, Bellamy instinctively reaches up to wipe them way with his finger, caressing the wet skin at the same. She closes her eyes at his touch, welcoming the comfort once again. More tears begin to roll down her cheeks. She doesn’t believe she deserves that comfort anymore.

“How?” She asks hesitantly, “How can you still believe that when I don’t?”

Bellamy lets go of her cheek so that he can grab her small hand in his, “Just like you could see the real me after I helped kill a whole army of grounders.” That gets Clarke to crack a tiny smile. “Because I know who you really are and what your intentions were. And you have to know, Clarke. Everyone makes wrong choices at some point.” He pauses again, “The thing is that you have to learn from them and be a better person the next day.” He gives her hand a squeeze, “And you did that. Once you found out what Jaha was up to, you came to us, and you did this because you knew it was the right thing to do. That’s all that matters to me and everyone else who loves you.”

The tears are rolling down her face freely by the time Bellamy finishes his speech. She has been staring at their hands the whole time, not able to look him in the eyes. Once she hears him pause for good, she throws herself at him, burying her face in the crook of his neck as her arms snake around his neck, pulling him against her in a fierce hug. She lets herself get lost against him, crying and sobbing like she has never let herself do before.

She feels Bellamy’s arm settling around her, pulling her closer to him- if it’s even possible-hugging her with all his strength. He doesn’t let go of her, not until she has no more tears to cry and her sobs have died out.

He lets her be the one who breaks the connection since she’s the one who seems to need it more. It takes a while for her to release her hold on him but when she does, they stay there, staring at each other until Abby walks into the office worried about her daughter.

For the first time in a long time, things have started to look good for Clarke.

* * *

Two hours after the ‘almost’ riot, Clarke lays staring at the ceiling of the room she had chosen to give herself some space. She is lost deep in her thoughts when there is a pounding at the door followed by Bellamy calling her name. Before she can reply, the door swings open and Bellamy storms inside.

“Thank god, you’re okay.” He breaths out, stopping in the middle of the room, staring at her with relief.

Clarke stands up but doesn’t walk to him, “Why? What happened?” She asks confused.

“Jaha.” Bellamy only says, “He got out. He must still have some friends outside that broke him out.” He pauses, trying to find his breathing again. It’s obvious he ran to find her.

“Then why are you here and not out there, looking for him?” Clarke asks concerned, taking a few steps to him.

“Because-”

“He knows I would come after you, Clarke.” A voice finishes Bellamy’s sentence from behind him, making both Bellamy and Clarke to snap towards it.

Standing there is Jaha, a gun in his hands pointing straight at Clarke. Bellamy takes out his gun in less than a second, jumping to stand between him and Clarke at the same time, his gun pointing right back at the old man.

“Don’t make me shoot you, Jaha. This time I _will_ kill you.” Bellamy warns, gun shaking a bit in his hands. “I don’t want to do it but I will if you give me no other choice.”

The man at the other end of the room smiles and without a warning pulls the trigger. Both Bellamy and Clarke duck to avoid the bullet successfully.

Bellamy throws a glance towards Clarke behind him, making sure she’s not hit, when he realizes she is fine he immediately turns his attention back to Jaha.  

“Fire one more time and you’re dead.” He snarls, taking a few steps towards him while his hands with the gun finally stop shaking. He knows guards must have heard the first gunshot and be here in a few seconds. He just has to hold Jaha off for a bit longer.

Jaha smirks, “I don’t have anything to lose, son. I can only do one last good thing for my people and kill the woman who sentenced them to death. If I have to kill you to, I will do it. But please, don’t make me do that too, only one of you needs to die today.” He stops, finally shifting his gaze from Clarke to Bellamy, “Step out my way, Bellamy.” He asks in a low but firm voice, when Bellamy doesn’t move an inch, Jaha sigh and pulls the trigger again.

Like the first time, the two young leaders duck to avoid getting hurt but this time, Bellamy also jumps forward to kick the door shut on Jaha’s face he quickly slams the side of his body to the door to keep is shut and with his free hand, he tries to lock the door from inside.

Jaha, now locked outside the room, starts pounding the door a few times before he goes silent. Suddenly, a bullet comes through the door, making a hole right below the lock. At the same time Bellamy turns the key and locks them inside.

The gunshot was so close to Bellamy’s hand that he almost drops the gun from the loud noise and shock of watching a bullet fly so close to him.

He snaps his attention to Clarke who is staring at him in horror. Before either of them can say anything, Bellamy cries out in pain and falls on the floor, dropping his gun so he can hug his shoulder to his side.

“Bellamy!” Clarke cries his name out, fear evident in her voice as she runs to him. She holds tight on his good arm and with all her strength, she pulls them to the side and behind a think wall where they will be safe from Jaha’s bullets on the other side of the door.

“Oh God! Bellamy, where?” Clarke’s panic has reached an all-time high by this point. She searches for the blood and the wound like crazy, “Where? Where did you got shot?!”

Bellamy leans against the wall with his good shoulder, exposing his hurt one to Clarke, “Shoulder.” He says between clenched teeth. Instantly, Clarke pushes his other hand away to look at the wound.

More gunshots go off from Jaha’s gun but neither of them pay them any attention since it’s impossible for them to get hit sitting in this position. It only serves to make the room look like it’s in chaos in Clarke’s mind. The doctor in her finally kicks in as she begins to search for an exit wound, looking back and forth from both sides of Bellamy’s shoulder.

“No exit wound.” She tells him, “Quickly, take off your jacket.” This is an order so Bellamy does not protest when she carefully helps him take off his jacket. He winces and cries out when he has to move his shoulder a bit causing Clarke to clench her teeth so much it feels like they’re going to break against each other. It’s all she can do to stop herself from crying at the sight of Bellamy’s pain. The tears are already blurring her vision anyway though.

Once the jacket is out of her way, she fists Bellamy’s sleeve with both hands and pulls the two sides apart, ripping the blood-soaked fabric around the wound open to expose the wound. “Shit!” She curses as she takes off her own jacket.

Jaha is still shooting and yelling on the other side of the door, both Bellamy and Clarke ignore him.

“How bad?” Bellamy asks, more calm than she expected him to be.  

She doesn’t take her eyes from the wound as she rips a long row of cloth from her own thin shirt and folds it above the wound, pushing on it. “Not too bad. But I need to stop the bleeding.” She tells him, finally meeting his eyes.

Bellamy gives her a nod and brings his good arm up, placing his hand over hers, stroking her knuckles slowly. She closes her eyes, trying to even out her breathing.

Either of them hear the moment Jaha stops trying to get inside because Marcus shot him. It’s only Abby’s panicked voice that brings Clarke back to reality. After instructing Bellamy to hold the fabric against his wound himself, she goes to unlock the door.

Abby, Marcus and Octavia fly into the room the moment they hear the lock click open, almost knocking Clarke off her feet in the process. Her mother jumps at her, hugging the life out of her while Marcus stands beside them as Octavia runs to her brother.

“Mom, Bellamy- he was shot and the bullet is still inside.” She whispers in Abby’s hair causing the worried mother to let go of her daughter and calm doctor to take over as Abby turns toward the man sitting by the wall.

Marcus quickly runs to Bellamy’s side, and with Octavia’s help, they lift Bellamy onto his feet, dragging him to medical closely followed by Abby and Clarke.

Once inside, Bellamy settles on a cot while Clarke takes a chair next to it, waiting for her mother to start working on the wound. Marcus and Octavia have to leave to be present at the lottery that is about to start, so Bellamy is left with the two Griffins to take care of him.

While Abby sets to the task of taking the bullet out of Bellamy’s shoulder, Clarke settles into the chair next to Bellamy’s cot holding his other hand, giving him all the strength that she has left in her. She knows he doesn’t need her strength, she is thankful he lets her hold him anyway. He does it because it is something she needs for herself, he knows that she needs to know that this is not a dream and that he is really there. Hurt but there.  

By the time Abby is finished stitching and cleaning the wound, Octavia has already come into medical to announce that both Abby and Clarke were picked in the lottery, along with her, Marcus and some of their other friend’s names.  

Abby break into tears and hugs Clarke tight in relief. Bellamy can finally breath, knowing that both Clarke and his sister will be safe with him inside the bunker for the next five years.

His sister steps closer to him, asking for a hug. Of course, Bellamy can’t deny her anything so he opens his good arm and welcomes her in his embrace. Opening his eyes for a moment, he finds Clarke staring at them above Abby’s shoulder. She gives him a small smile and he quickly returns it.

Marcus walks in just as Abby is releasing her hold on Clarke, she looks into Clarke’s eyes, silently asking if she can go to him. Her daughter can’t do anything but give her mother a big smile and a nod before letting her go. She watches as Abby runs to Marcus’ open arms. All she can think about is how much she needs a hug from someone else too.

She glances over her shoulder to Bellamy who is standing next to his sister with a smile on his face as he watched Abby and Marcus embrace. It doesn’t take him long to see her staring at him again and once their eye meet, he knows exactly what to do.

They meet in the middle, slowly tangling in each other’s embrace, holding tight like there is no tomorrow. But there is. _And it has already started._


End file.
